America (Pandemic Remix)

America I did my best.

America fourteen dollars and ninety-two cents (free shipping with Prime) on January 17, 2021.

My mind is trying to kill me.

America when does the spiritual war begin?

Shove the stock market up your dickhole.

Leave me alone. I have nothing to say.

Alright, alright. I realize this poem won’t write itself.

America when will you be angelic?

When will you put your phone down?

When will you turn off the TV and come to bed?

When will you put your laptop to sleep for good?

America we weren’t the first ones here.

Why do the names of your favorite sports teams mock the indigenous?

Don’t ask me who I like in the big game.

Colin Kaepernick got a raw deal.

America sometimes you have to kneel down to stand up.

My high school friend Mike Simmons was shot to death.

Who kneels for him?

I’ve been a Kansas City Chiefs fan my entire life. Do I contradict myself?

I’m not sorry.

America I’m getting to the point.

America the chickens are comin’ home to roost.

I haven’t read an actual newspaper in years.

Every day it’s the same sad story.

America I can’t remember my Gmail password.

America I hate who I am online.

Where’s my iPhone? Someone stole it.

Brett Hooton is in Montreal. I don’t think he’ll come back. It’s sinister.

I don’t smoke marijuana anymore.

Now you’re telling me weed is legal?

Is this some kind of sick joke?

What about all the people in jail for petty drug crimes?

Do they get to go free?

America I never get drunk these days.

America I wear white after Labor Day.

I wouldn’t be caught dead praying in public.

I have mystical visions and cosmic vibrations.

America I smoked pot for the first time with Tommy Black. We were in his Chevy Blazer listening to Bob Marley. We weren’t afraid of getting caught by the cops.

Tommy Black is dead now.

I’m talking to you.

Are you going to let your emotional life be run by Facebook?

I’m obsessed with Facebook.

I look at it every day (read: hour).

I can’t figure out how to turn the notifications off anyway.

It’s always showing me pictures of food. People like food. Food is a big deal.

It occurs to me that I am America.

Do I sound paranoid?

Asia is rising against me.

We don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.

I’d better keep an eye on my shit.

My shit consists of two bottles of wine,

a dozen volumes of poetry,

30 generic Lipitor pills from Canada,

and an ’85 Toyota Van that only runs on one cylinder.

I say nothing about the climate nor the millions upon

millions of impoverished people who live beneath my floorboards.

I’ve given up on the forest, the lakes, and the rivers;

the mountains are the next to go.

I was baptized Catholic. I’m pretty sure this won’t affect my plans to become president.

America I’m feeling a bit Jew-y.

I wish I was Jeff Bezos. I can beat his price but you have to come pick it up.

America I paid $400 on Amazon for a small dishwasher that only holds ten dishes.

Did I get ripped off?

America free Mumia Abu-Jamal (remember him?).

Save Israel from itself.

America you were implicit in Khashoggi’s death.

America I am the Syrian refugees.

What the fuck is going on in Yemen?

America when I was in fourth grade I had my first sexual experience. He was a boy and his name started with the letter J. We took a bath together and then ate Ramen noodles. America it was beautiful. You should’ve been there. Just thinking about it now makes me hard.

America does that mean I’m gay?

America you don’t really want to go to war. With each other?

America it’s them bad Russians.

Them Russians them Russians and them Chinamen. And them Jews (always them Jews).

The Russia wants to sabotage our elections. Putin is mad with power.

He wants to take our phones away.

He wants to take New York. He wants to paint the White House red.

This no good. Putin give land back to the Indians. He teach Latinos read English.

He give black people reparations. He make us work nights and weekends.

America this is quite serious.

America this is the impression I get from my news feed.

America is this correct?

We better get down to it.

We are all alone but we are all alone together.

Let’s put our shoulder to the wheel.


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